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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26164006">The One You Can't Have</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/missrhondalee/pseuds/missrhondalee'>missrhondalee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Laverne &amp; Shirley (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1960s, California, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Mutual Pining, Romance, season seven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:41:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26164006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/missrhondalee/pseuds/missrhondalee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the season seven episode 'I do, I don't.'</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Laverne DeFazio/Carmine Ragusa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The One You Can't Have</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>* If you can't stand the sight of Carmine and Laverne together, I suggest avoiding reading further. People enjoy different things, don't be an asshole.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carmine Ragusa lay in bed immobile staring at the ceiling cursing under his breath for ending up in the one situation he promised himself he would never get into. It all started a week and a half ago when Shirley took advantage of a pre-paid wedding that some rich lady offered her after her daughter had canceled it on account that she shot the groom. Next thing he knew, Shirley was dragging him into her apartment and practically railroaded him into marrying her. Someone had even stuck him with a needle without his consent! Shirley was obsessed with getting married. Hell, she's been going on about finding Mr Right for as long as he could remember and although he's known all along she'd always want to marry either a doctor or a lawyer, he'd still stuck by her and he'd been fine with it for the most part...until that fateful night seven years ago when she insisted he and Laverne have dinner together. She'd made all this food and she didn't want it to go to waste and after begging them, he and Laverne had reluctantly agreed to spend the evening together. That's when his life turned upside down. Sure, they'd shouted terrible things at each other and when he came home that evening, he'd honestly thought it had just been a temporary fling that sometimes occur between close friends but then the sleepless nights began and every time he'd see Laverne, hell every time her name was even mentioned, his heart would start racing and so he understood, he understood the emotional mess he'd gotten himself into.</p><p>Not wanting to break up the girls' friendship or even his friendship with them, Carmine decided a long time ago to keep his feelings to himself but this out of the blue wedding threatened to blow everything to pieces. He'd always known deep down he and Shirley would never get married, even more when he developed feelings for her best friend, and that one day she'd find someone and it would finally be the end of their on and off relationship he'd forced himself to remain a part of but then this surprise wedding appeared out of thin air and Carmine knew he was going to resent that couple for a very long time for not going through with it. Sure, he could have refused when she asked him but he was pushing thirty and his life was going nowhere and at the time when Shirley was going on about it, he thought that if they got married then at least his life would have a purpose. It has been ten days now and he knew it was too late to take it back. The wedding was on Saturday, three days from now and Carmine knew he'd need a miracle at this point to get out of it.</p><p> </p><p>Shirley Feeney flicked through the pages of her <em>Brides</em> magazine still not realizing that three days from now, she would be one of these women. Okay so, her wedding wasn't turning out to be one that she'd imagined since she was a little girl, that was true. But it had to be destiny for her to have literally stumbled upon an all expenses paid wedding! Not in a million years would she have been able to afford it and the Lord just gave it all to her and not only that but Carmine, her high school sweetheart had said yes! Okay, he did say yes after she begged him but he said yes nonetheless and when you were as desperate as she was, it was good enough. As she was making a mental note to remember to thank each guest personally for the wedding gifts that she was already more than excited to open, even though she knew the gifts hadn't originally been purchased for her but what the hell, her best friend moaning in the bed next to hers made her snap out of her wedding reverie.</p><p>Now Shirley realized ever since she and Carmine decided to get married, Laverne hadn't been quite herself. She'd become irritable at times and she was also quieter but the one thing she did notice was that she'd become overly sensitive. Shirley knew Laverne had always been tough on the outside but quite the opposite on the inside however, she'd never seen her like this. Lately Laverne always looked like she was about to cry or that she'd <em>been</em> crying. Wouldn't you be devastated if the one person you'd been pining over for the last seven years was about to marry your best friend in the whole world? Ever since Carmine said yes, Laverne's world fell apart. It was already tough on a daily basis to see Shirley and Carmine together but as a married couple? Now when Laverne learned that not only did she realize she'd never get with Carmine but most importantly, for him to have said yes proved that he didn't feel the same and her feelings weren't reciprocated. All these things combined with the upcoming wedding was more than enough to either make her unable to sleep or give her nightmares when she did. Laverne continued moaning in her sleep and Shirley jumped as her best friend woke up suddenly crying and soaked with sweat.</p><p>'Laverne! Are you okay?'</p><p>Laverne panted, glancing around the room beyond confused, 'Huh, what.'</p><p>Shirley rose from her bed, 'You all right? You scared the bejesus out of me!'</p><p>The sight of the <em>Brides</em> magazine brought Laverne back to reality in a split second. The wedding was still on and Carmine still didn't feel the same. 'Are you all right?' she finally heard her best friend ask her. She looked so worried, Laverne knew she had to speak now before she'd get suspicious. 'It's okay. I'm fine.' she reassured her quickly, 'Just a nightmare.'</p><p>'A nightmare?'</p><p>'Yeah.' Laverne nodded frantically trying to come up with a plausible reason to give her, 'So many things to do, you know? The wedding preparations.' Laverne tried to explain as she desperately tried to get a grip on herself.</p><p>'The wedding preparations? It's all paid for and taken care of.' Shirley giggled, 'What are you talking about?'</p><p>Shirley was giving her confused looks and Laverne's anxiety was slowly taking over as she feared her best friend would finally realize what was going on, that the reason she was like this was because she was madly in love with her boyfriend and she sure as hell didn't want this wedding to happen.</p><p>Shirley pointed a finger at her. 'I know what it's all about.'</p><p>Laverne swallowed hard, 'You do?'</p><p>'Yeah. You're scared I'm going to abandon you, aren't you?'</p><p>Laverne nodded crying harder, relieved beyond belief that Shirley hadn't picked up on anything. 'Aww, Laverne.'</p><p>Shirley rushed to envelope her in a hug. 'The farthest I'm ever going to go is upstairs to Carmine's place. We'll still see each other every day. You're not going to lose me.' Laverne's heartbeat gradually returned to its normal pace as Shirley tightened her embrace. 'I'm so happy this is happening. It's a dream come true.'</p><p>'I know, Shirl.'</p><p>Laverne glanced at the time quickly and feigned a yawn. 'I should get back to sleep.'</p><p>Shirley took advantage of her every waking moments to talk about the wedding and Carmine and it had been a miracle that Laverne had made it this far without losing it...in front of her. When she was alone however, it was a very different story but Shirley's dreamed about this for so long, Laverne knew she couldn't do anything to risk destroying that.</p><p>'We still have to get to work tomorrow.'</p><p>Shirley reluctantly let go of her friend.</p><p>'No more nightmares, all right? I'm never leaving you, Vernie.'</p><p>Only when Shirley returned to her bed and turned the light off, did Laverne allow herself to bury her head in her hands praying the Lord would give her enough strength to get through the next few days because if he didn't, she knew she wasn't going to make it.</p><p> </p><p>On Friday night, Laverne wasn't praying anymore. She was hoping for a goddamn miracle at this point. Nothing had changed, the wedding was still happening. Which meant twenty four hours from now, her best friend and the man she's secretly loved for years were going to be man and wife and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. If her best friend was already over the moon and ecstatic, now she was literally in heaven on earth. She was giggling 24/7, dancing around the apartment and all that crap. Laverne sighed as she handed the dirty plates to her friend. Even while doing the dishes, Shirley couldn't help but sing. Her behavior although understandable, especially knowing her and how she's always been hanging onto that balloon up there, was extremely annoying. But at least, since she was in her world Shirley didn't notice her constant shaking and how many times she had to use the bathroom in the last few hours. Laverne took every opportunity to be on her own which wasn't often since her best friend was constantly in her face wanting to share her joy. So when Shirley asked her to take the trash out, Laverne agreed on the spot. As she tightened her grip on the trash bag, Laverne headed for the door quickly only to stumble upon Carmine on her way out. Hadn't the universe punished her enough? Apparently not.</p><p>She took a deep breath, 'Carmine. Hi.'</p><p>Only the sound of her voice was enough to make Carmine's heart beat a million times faster. He was used to it. Hell, it would happen literally every time they'd see each other but the night before his wedding to another woman? Now that was something else entirely. 'Laverne.'</p><p>Although on the inside her alarms were going off, Laverne forced herself to smile and be happy for him like a real friend should be, 'Big day tomorrow, huh?'</p><p>'You can say that again.'</p><p>She sniffled loudly trying to keep herself from bursting into tears and that was honestly one of the hardest things she's ever had to do. <em>He loves Shirley. He doesn't love you. He's marrying her. He's not marrying you</em>.</p><p>'Shirley's lucky. She couldn't have found a better guy.' Not crying right now required mental strength Laverne never knew she possessed. The tears weren't falling but her eyes were getting red and Carmine did notice her lower lip tremble despite her biting on it. 'I'm real happy for you guys.'</p><p>Carmine studied her as she resumed biting on her lower lip frantically, so much so that he noticed blood. She also wasn't looking straight at him, actually she was avoiding his gaze now. Something was off with her. The words she was saying didn't match her demeanor. If she was happy for him, shouldn't she be smiling? She looked like she was about to burst into tears and not the happy kind. She actually looked quite miserable and he couldn't help but ask if she was okay when he noticed her shaking hand despite her trying to shove it in her pocket. 'Uh, yeah.'</p><p>Laverne nodded, 'I'm just emotional about you guys. I'm fine. Don't worry.' Before she could stop herself, Laverne rushed to wrap her arms around his neck. She finally let the tears fall as he accepted the hug. Carmine heard her crying despite her best intentions not to. They found themselves unable to let go of one another for the longest time. He knew why <em>he</em> didn't want to let go..but why was she doing the same? That was when it hit him. Her demeanor, the crying. He knew something wasn't right. Perhaps could it be that she secretly felt the same? Not even in his dreams would his feelings for her be reciprocated.</p><p>As Laverne reluctantly let go of him, it honestly felt like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest and stomped on it, she wiped her tears finally finding the courage to look him straight in the eyes. This newfound revelation suddenly made everything clearer and Carmine could see it in her eyes that she didn't want this. She didn't want him to marry her best friend almost even more than <em>he</em> didn't want to do this.</p><p>She needed to get away from him now or Laverne knew she was going to say something she shouldn't. She couldn't do that to either of them but the longer she stayed in Carmine's presence, the harder it was to contain her emotions.</p><p>She stammered, 'I..I have to go. This trash won't throw itself out.' she forced a smile, 'I'll see you tomorrow. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, all right?'</p><p>Carmine watched her as she headed to the back door. Laverne had always hated that alley to dispose of her garbage but right now she was actually thankful for it as it gave her the escape she desperately needed. By the time she reached the door, she knew Carmine was still watching her, and she had to bring her hand to her mouth to keep herself from giving anything away. Okay, he knew she was crying but hopefully he mistook her tears as sadness because Shirley was moving out, or maybe she was jealous she wasn't the one getting married. Both plausible reasons. But certainly not because she was in love with him. Only when she was sure no one could either see or hear her, did Laverne finally let herself cry harder. She was actually sobbing so hard she had trouble breathing. Tomorrow was supposed to be a happy day, her best friend in the whole entire world was getting married! She was the maid of honor for Christ's sake. However, instead of happiness, all she felt was hatred. She hated herself for everything. She had to fall in love with the <span>one</span> guy she couldn't have. She's had seven years worth of chances to speak up, to say something and she never did because she loved Shirley too much and now it was too late. Laverne's sight was so blurred she could barely see what she was doing as she dropped the bag into the waste container. Anger overtook her and she kicked the container repeatedly hurting herself in the process but she was in so much emotional pain that she didn't care about the physical one. 'Fuck!'</p><p>How the hell was she going to get through the wedding when even the thought of going back to her apartment right now and face Shirley was almost an impossible task? How the hell was she supposed to live her life after tomorrow? Shirley and Carmine weren't married yet and she was losing it. How was she going to be happy for them and be okay with this for the next thirty to forty years? Panic spread through her body causing her to gag. She began retching uncontrollably and since she's barely eaten anything these days, it hurt like fucking shit. She honestly believed death would be less painful at this point.</p><p> </p><p>After what felt like an eternity, Laverne miraculously managed to calm herself down. She didn't know how long she's been out here but she knew Shirley was going to start worrying if she didn't reappear soon. Coughing, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Now Laverne knew she'd never felt this rotten in her entire life and it was only going to get worse from here. If she felt beyond miserable on the inside, she knew she had to look the complete opposite on the outside. She envied Rhonda for being an actress because she sure as hell could use acting lessons right about now! <em>Okay. Breathe. You can do this. </em><span>It took a few long minutes for her to finally stop crying. Laverne took a deep breath as she walked back toward her apartment and she took another before opening the door. Like she'd anticipated, Shirley was all over her the second she stepped inside.</span></p><p>'Here you are! I was getting worried there.' Shirley walked up to her, 'You sure do take an awful long time taking the trash out. I thought you'd locked yourself out or something.'</p><p>
  <span>'Sorry.' Laverne apologized, trying to sound as normal as possible. 'I just ran into Carmine. We talked for a bit.' well, at least she was honest, right?</span>
</p><p>'Oh, and how is my handsome husband-to-be on this fine evening?'</p><p>Laverne rolled her eyes, 'Yeah. He's fine.'</p><p>'Is he, really? He didn't look sick or pasty or anything like that? He needs to be in tiptop shape-'</p><p>Laverne cut her off sharply, 'He's fine, Shirl, okay?!'</p><p>Wow. Who pissed in her cornflakes?</p><p>Laverne stammered, cursing herself for reacting the way she had. 'I..Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you.'</p><p>Shirley frowned, 'Laverne, are you okay? You look pale.'</p><p><em>Shit</em>. Why did she have to snap at her like that? 'Yeah uh, sure, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?'</p><p>Although Shirley was over the moon about her wedding tomorrow, she also knew it was tough for Laverne to see her best friend tying the knot. Hell, she knew if the roles were reversed and Laverne was the one getting married, she'd be drowning in her jealous tears right about now! So far, Laverne had been nothing but happy for her and Shirley appreciated that. 'Look, Laverne, I know I might get on your nerves about this wedding sometimes but this is something I've been waiting for so long.'</p><p>Laverne nodded quickly, 'I know, Shirl.' before her best friend would start going on about how much she wanted this and how happy Carmine made her, Laverne told her she was tired and she should probably get some sleep. Of course she knew she wouldn't get any but talking about this was something she just couldn't do at the moment. Even more after running into Carmine, she knew she was this close to breaking down and confessing everything. She could not do that so the only solution was to avoid the subject altogether. She couldn't mess up if she stopped talking.</p><p>'You're going to sleep? But it's eight o'clock!'</p><p>'Well uh, don't you want me to look my best in my maid of honor dress tomorrow?'</p><p>'You've got to look fabulous.' Shirley agreed, although she needed to look even better.</p><p>'I need all the sleep I can get in order to do that.'</p><p>Laverne breathed a sigh of relief as Shirley agreed to let her go.</p><p>'I'll see you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep.' Laverne told her now although knowing Shirley, there was no way in hell she was going to get any seventeen hours before the one thing she's been waiting for all her life. Shirley stopped her as she was walking up the stairs and Laverne wondered how long the universe was planning on hurting her for. Can't a gal get a break at some fucking point?</p><p>'What is it, Shirl?'</p><p>Shirley couldn't help but fling her arms around her best friend's neck. 'Thank you for everything.'</p><p>'I literally didn't do anything.' and she was grateful for it. Imagine if she had to plan a wedding for the guy she was in love with to marry another girl? Now she knew, she wouldn't have made it this far without confessing.</p><p>'You're there for me.' Shirley was so grateful she was tightening her embrace, almost chocking her.</p><p>'You're cutting off my circulation. I can't breathe.' Shirley apologized giggling she then waved goodnight to her as Laverne made her way upstairs. The second she closed the door to their bedroom, she heard Shirley squealing and Laverne realized confessing was absolutely out of the question now which meant she was gonna need superhuman powers to get through tomorrow. Was it too late to wish for an asteroid to destroy the earth?</p><p>****</p><p> </p><p>An hour before the ceremony, Laverne didn't believe death would be less painful than this anymore, she <em>knew</em> it would be. After all, maybe it was the price she was paying for falling for her best friend's guy. She wondered how she was still able to function at this point. Not only did she have to supervise everything but she had to do it smiling at all times. Sure, the fact that she was terribly busy mentally helped her but as the ceremony was approaching, she felt her anxiety worsen by each minute that passed. It was a miracle no one had so far picked up on her constant shaking and how fucking pale she looked. Everyone was acting frantically as the guests arrived. If Rhonda was in charge of sitting them, Lenny and Squiggy had to park the cars and Laverne prayed these two wouldn't cause trouble. Laverne took advantage of everyone attending to their tasks to rush to the bathroom. Being alone was a necessity to get through this nightmare and so far it had worked...until now. It wasn't anymore and she understood only medication would help her. She didn't have any so she was fucked. Laverne stared at herself in the mirror above the sink miserably trying to get a grip on herself. Was it her or was it incredibly hot all of a sudden? She was sweating bullets. She felt like she was in a sauna or something. She turned the tap on and splashed her face with cold water repeatedly. It was Shirley's day and she was determined no matter how much it would emotionally cost her not to destroy it. Just as she was mentally trying to reassure herself that she could get through this, Rhonda burst through the door.</p><p>Laverne turned around on the spot, 'Jesus, Rhonda! You scared the crap out of me.'</p><p>'Sorry.' Rhonda giggled, 'Shirley's looking for you.'</p><p>Laverne panted, 'All right. Thank you. Are the guests all here?'</p><p>'It appears so.'</p><p>Nodding, Laverne thanked her again. 'Laverne, you all right? You look funny.'</p><p>'I'm fine.' what was one more lie at this point. Just as she was pulling on the door to get away from her, Shirley appeared in front of her startling her again.</p><p>'Where the heck have you been?! I've been looking all over for you!'</p><p>'I uh...' <em>quick! another excuse</em>, 'My pop needed help with his tuxedo. You know how he gained weight recently? He was worried his buttons would pop off and end up flying halfway across the room if his jacket was too tight.' she laughed, 'Imagine the disaster if one of them ended up hitting someone in the face.'</p><p>Shirley rolled her eyes, she didn't have time to listen to this. 'Go ask Lenny and Squiggy if they've seen Carmine.'</p><p>'He's not here?'</p><p>'No one's seen him yet. Would you go ask them, please.' Now she never thought about this possibility. Imagine if Carmine was a no show and the wedding didn't actually take place? Although tempting, Laverne dismissed that thought. Of course he was going to show, he said yes when Shirley proposed. Laverne reluctantly put her coat on and headed outside. If this day couldn't get any worse now it was raining too. She spotted the boys on the sidewalk telling some elderly man he couldn't park here because it was a private party and his name wasn't on the guest list.</p><p>'Better luck next time, bud.'</p><p>'Lenny! Squiggy!' Laverne ran to them.</p><p>'Hello, Laverne. Came to check up on us to see if we were doing a good job, huh?'</p><p>'Is the ceremony starting yet? I kinda want to get inside. I hate rain.' Lenny whined and Squiggy told him to shut up. 'It's just water. Why are you whining for. You ain't gonna melt.'</p><p>They began arguing and Laverne's patience was running low, 'Boys..'</p><p>'I'm wearing hair gel-'</p><p>'Boys!' she snapped loudly, 'Have you seen Carmine?'</p><p>'Nope. No sign of the big raccoon yet. We'll keep you posted.'</p><p>'He kinda needs to be here. Being the groom and all.'</p><p>'Shirley can't get married without him, can she?'</p><p>'You know, it might be possible. I heard this woman in Vegas married herself.'</p><p>'Get out of here. How's that possible?'</p><p>Laverne groaned in exasperation and left before she could hear the end of their ridiculous conversation. Forty five minutes ago, she'd felt herself spiraling into literal hell but learning Carmine wasn't here while everyone was now waiting for him gave her hope. The wedding might not happen after all.</p><p>'What do you mean he's not here yet?! The ceremony is about to start!' Panic spread through Shirley as she started freaking out. The most important day in her entire life and her fiance wasn't here. 'Please, you've got to find him Laverne.'</p><p>'How am I supposed to do that? I don't know where he is.'</p><p>Shirley was begging her now and to get her off her back, Laverne agreed to call his apartment. When she reached the telephone however, she couldn't bring herself to dial his number. She didn't want him to come, she didn't want this. Shirley was watching her however so she had to do it. She pretended to dial instead of actually punching in the numbers. Laverne knew that was cruel and she actually resented herself for doing this but could you blame her? Who wouldn't do the same thing in her situation? Anyway, it wasn't her fault that Carmine wasn't here yet. She was just....taking advantage.</p><p>'What if something's happened to him?'</p><p>'Nothing's happened to him.'</p><p>'Can't you try to call him again?'</p><p>'He's on his way, Shirl.'</p><p>Everyone whispered to themselves when after another ten minutes, there was still no sign of Carmine. While her friends began freaking out, assuming god knows what, Laverne was relieved. Obviously, she acted like she was concerned but on the inside, boy was she relieved this was happening. Relieved but she was still scared that something might have happened to Carmine. What if he was hurt somewhere? She loved him, she didn't want anything to happen to him. The guests were getting restless and Shirley overheard some of them saying they wanted to leave.</p><p>'He's going to be here, all right?'</p><p>'Carmine does have the address to this place, doesn't he?'</p><p>While her friends were wondering where the heck Carmine was, Shirley turned to the minister when he called her name. 'Miss, I have to perform another wedding across town later this afternoon.' the minister informed her that basically he didn't have all day. 'Perhaps it would be best to postpone the ceremony-'</p><p>Just as Laverne was getting confident that Carmine wasn't going to come while Shirley was beginning to lose all hope, did the big Ragoo make an appearance at last.</p><p> </p><p>To say Carmine Ragusa didn't want to be here right now would be the understatement of the century. When he woke up this morning, the fact that he'd gone to sleep at all was nothing short of miraculous, he'd decided to skip on the wedding altogether. He's known from the beginning, since the second Shirley had proposed to him, that he didn't want to get married. If he hadn't found out last night how Laverne felt about him, he knew he might have gone through with it. That was how desperate he'd been to make something of himself before it would be too late. But knowing what he knew now, that Laverne felt the same things that he felt about her, there was no way he was going to go through with this. He wasn't going to show up until he realized that would be the easy way out, the cowardly way. Despite how he felt about Shirley, she was still his friend and he loved her. He was just not <em>in love </em>with her but he loved her. She was already going to be immensely disappointed, he couldn't humiliate her on top of it all and because she was his friend, she deserved better.</p><p>Shirley was so relieved to see him even though she was wondering why the heck he wasn't wearing his tuxedo that she ran to him. 'Carmine!' before Carmine had time to react, Shirley grabbed his hand and dragged him to the altar. If her best friend felt relief, Laverne was beyond devastated. That was it. Five minutes from now, Carmine would marry her best friend and she was going to spend the rest of her pathetic existence wishing she was in her place. The same thing she's been wishing for the last seven years and now she'd be wishing that forever. Despite her hardest to contain her emotions, Laverne failed miserably and she started crying. She was so heartbroken it was indescribable.</p><p>Lenny noticed her crying and he was concerned, 'Why are you crying, Vernie? Your best friend's getting married!'</p><p>Laverne wiped at her eyes repeatedly, 'It's happy tears.'</p><p>'Can we get on with it?!' Squiggy pleaded. He was getting cranky. Laverne forced herself to stand beside Shirley as the ceremony began. The fact that she was able to do anything at this point was a miracle considering how awful she felt. Tears were blurring her vision but she did notice Carmine staring at her. Staring back was too hard and she chose to avoid his gaze. 'If anyone sees any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.'</p><p>
  <em>Here's your chance, DeFazio.</em>
  <span> Not saying anything was torture and although she was dying to on the inside, Laverne's determination not to ruin Shirley's day was still stronger and she began biting on her lower lip to keep herself from sobbing uncontrollably. The same way she had last night with Carmine. When Shirley began repeating the vows after the minister, she wanted to start first because she honestly could not wait any longer, Laverne was hanging by a thread. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest she felt like it was going to burst any second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I, Shirley Feeney, take Carmine Ragusa..' </span>
  <em>Oh, God</em>
  <span>. Her hands were shaking so badly and her face was so crimson, she prayed the next few minutes would fly by because she doubted she was going to hold it in much longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Repeat after me son. </span>
  <em>I, Carmine Ragusa, take Shirley Feeney</em>
  <span>...'</span>
</p><p>Carmine took a deep breath as he knew after this, their lives would never be the same. It was like removing a band aid, you just pull it right off and get it over with. Laverne could barely see and hear anything anymore and if the Lord had any pity on her, he'd just end her suffering right now and kill her.</p><p>'I...' Carmine shook his head, 'I can't. I'm sorry.'</p><p>At the sound of these words, Laverne froze. <em>Huh</em>.<em> What</em>. Did she hear him right? Did she pass out and she was dreaming? Or was this really happening? Everyone gasped in shock as literally no one was expecting this. Including her and she was speechless.</p><p>'I'm sorry, Shirl.' Carmine apologized now taking her hands, 'I love you but I'm not in love with you.' he told her before his eyes flicked up to meet Laverne's gaze suddenly and in that split second, Laverne's life turned upside down realizing he loved her too. Not in her wildest dreams would she have thought this was how this day was going to turn out. She brought her shaking hand to her mouth to hide the smile appearing on her face. She's just been through an absolute emotional hell...for nothing. <em>Oh, my God</em>.</p><p>'What an unexpected turn of events!' Lenny exclaimed thoughtlessly and Rhonda elbowed him in the side.</p><p>Ignoring Lenny yelping in pain, Carmine continued as Shirley didn't quite know how to react. She was having a nightmare and she was going to wake up soon, right?</p><p>'I can't marry you. I'm sorry.'</p><p>'I wasn't going to come but I couldn't do that to you.' Carmine tried to explain as Shirley stood motionless staring at him unable to speak. She was in so much shock, she felt like she'd just been hit by a car going two hundred miles an hour and in a way she wished she had, because she knew it would hurt less than this!</p><p>Carmine turned to face everyone. 'I'm sorry, folks. There won't be a wedding. Sorry for the inconvenience.'</p><p>Carmine felt beyond uncomfortable as everyone stared at him. He felt crummier by each second that passed. He knew he did the right thing but he also knew his friends most likely hated his guts now. All of them except one. Carmine and Laverne exchanged fond glances before he found the strength to move his feet and take off.</p><p>Silence filled the room as Shirley's friends gathered around her to console her. Even Frank took her in his arms to let her cry.</p><p>'Boy, ain't you glad you didn't pay for this wedding.' Squiggy tried to cheer her up in his own way.</p><p>...and so did Lenny. 'I'm sorry, Shirl. Hopefully the next guy you propose to will actually marry you. You can't be this unlucky twice-'</p><p>'That's enough, boys.'</p><p>Although Laverne was now relieved beyond belief, she'd still spent the most horrible day and after the roulette of emotions the universe had put her through as well as seeing Shirley in tears she couldn't help but start crying again. Because although she now knew her feelings for Carmine were reciprocated, she sadly also knew there was a slim chance they were going to act on them. And even if someday they did, it would have to be behind everyone's back because no one would accept them being together. Even more after today. She couldn't think about this right now, she had to be there for her best friend who desperately needed her. She already felt crummy that she was the reason she didn't get her big day so she was going to have to do everything in her power to cheer her up. Shirley's just lost the one thing she's been dreaming of for so long, Laverne knew it would take months for her to get back out there and look for Mr Right again and Laverne promised herself she would be there for her every step of the way.</p><p> </p><p>****</p><p> </p><p>It has now been a week since Carmine had walked out on Shirley and it also has been a week since anyone's seen him. Obviously, he's been on Laverne's mind 24/7 ever since but Shirley occupied all her time lately and leaving her just for an hour was nearly impossible. The poor woman was so depressed she hadn't left the house once. She was so humiliated she didn't even want to step outside and if you even thought about pronouncing Carmine's name in her presence, you'd live to regret it. Laverne had mixed feelings about the entire thing. On one hand, she felt incredibly guilty that she'd come between them. Although in her defense it wasn't her fault that she'd fallen in love with him and god knows how much it had cost her to live with this secret for seven long years. But on the other hand, learning that Carmine has been loving her too during all this time made her so incredibly happy it was indescribable. The only downside about it all was that she obviously could not share her joy with anyone because she knew if Shirley found out it would be the end of their friendship.</p><p> </p><p>She took advantage of Shirley being asleep to step outside. She needed to see Carmine and the fact that no one had seen him in over seven days actually made her worry. She couldn't blame him for not being around but what if something had happened to him? No one's heard from him, what if he was hurt somewhere? Trying not to let her panic overtake her, Laverne took a deep breath buttoning up her coat. As she was heading out the door, she stumbled upon Rhonda getting her mail.</p><p>'Oh, hi, Laverne.'</p><p>She walked up to her, 'Hi.'</p><p>'Get anything interesting in the mail?'</p><p>She winked, 'Wouldn't you like to know.'</p><p>'Living life on the wild side, huh Rhonda?'</p><p>Rhonda giggled, 'What can Rhonda do for you?'</p><p>'Have you seen Carmine lately? If you have, do you know where I might find him?'</p><p>'Carmine?' she shook her head quickly at the mention of his name, 'No. I haven't.'</p><p>Laverne studied her, Rhonda didn't look like her usual self. She wouldn't meet her eyes and just looked down right uncomfortable.</p><p>'Are you sure?'</p><p>She wasn't answering and Laverne understood Rhonda knew more than she let on. 'Rhonda, everyone's worried about him.' okay, she was probably the only one if she were honest because Shirley obviously wanted him dead and the boys were siding with her.</p><p>'If you know where he is-'</p><p>Rhonda sighed loudly, 'My hands are tied. I promised him. I can't- '</p><p>Laverne almost begged. 'Please. He's still our friend.'</p><p>'He told me he was leaving Los Angeles. He's moving to New York.'</p><p>'When?'</p><p>'Tonight. I'm sorry he told me not to say anything to you guys.'</p><p>'Do you know what time?'</p><p>Rhonda shrugged shaking her head, 'No. All he said was it would be an evening bus.' considering it was almost nine o'clock, for all she knew he might already be gone and Rhonda told her that. 'You might still catch him, I have no idea-'</p><p>Laverne ran out the door so fast, Rhonda didn't have time to finish her sentence.</p><p> </p><p>Laverne cursed herself for wearing heels as she ran to the bus depot. Boy, was she grateful it was just around the corner to her apartment building! By the time she got there, she had trouble catching her breath. Panting, she glanced around the bus depot. Tonight for some reason, the place was packed and as she scanned the room, Laverne began panicking as there was no sign of him...until a gentleman moved out of the way and she spotted his blue jacket. Carmine was short and so harder to spot in large crowds. Will the universe once and for all stop scaring the crap out of her just for the fun of it?!</p><p> </p><p>Leaving L.A. was one of the hardest decision he'd ever had to make. Carmine didn't care much about the city, he'd always liked the east coast better, but leaving all the people he'd grown up with caused him pain he never thought he'd experience in his lifetime. Leaving her was the hardest. He'd thought about saying goodbye to Laverne and he knew she might end up hating him for not even letting her know but he was willing to take that chance. Or maybe she would actually understand that he had no other choice than do this? He couldn't stay. What was the point of staying if he couldn't be with her? He'd spent the last seven years of his life living a lie, he didn't want to spend the rest of it living another. Because he knew if he and Laverne wanted to be together, it would have to be behind everyone's back because there was no way anyone's going to accept them as a couple. Carmine tightened his grasp on his suitcase waiting for his bus to be announced. Just as he was reassuring himself that he was doing the right thing, he heard a familiar voice calling out his name.</p><p>He wasn't expecting her at all and the look on his face as he turned around proved it. As always, his heart raced at the sight of her.</p><p>'Laverne? What are you doing here?'</p><p>He'd only told Rhonda about his plans so it took Carmine half a second to understand she'd spilled the beans.</p><p>'You know what I'm doing here.'</p><p>Carmine took a deep breath stepping closer to her. He hadn't prepared himself for this, for an emotional goodbye so it was hitting him unexpectedly in the face.</p><p>There was a pause as they stared at each other and his heart broke as her lower lip quivered.</p><p>'I can't stay.'</p><p>She nodded sadly, 'I know.'</p><p>His bus was announced but he could barely distinguish what the pa system was announcing over the loud pounding of his heart in his ears.</p><p>Tears blurred her vision now and it felt like someone had just shot him straight in the heart as he looked at her.</p><p>She sniffled loudly, 'If Shirley wasn't here-'</p><p>'She <em>is</em> here.'</p><p>'But if she wasn't, would we be together?'</p><p>'I think you know the answer to that question.' his tears threatened to fall as she sobbed harder. 'I walked out on her wedding day. If you and I get together it will kill her.'</p><p>'Shirley needs you, Laverne.'</p><p>'What if I need you?'</p><p>He kissed her forehead then wiped her tears with the back of his hands.</p><p>
  <em>Last call for the 246 to New York.</em>
</p><p>This time he heard it. 'That's me.' she wasn't the only one whose vision was blurred now. Despite his best efforts not to cry, he failed miserably. 'I'll see you around.'</p><p>Laverne began having difficulty breathing as he slowly walked away from her. It now hit her that it was most likely the very last time she would see him. She watched him handing his ticket to the driver. Laverne called his name out again as he was about to board the bus. Carmine turned around as she ran into his arms startling some guy standing behind him. The same guy tripped over his own foot as he stepped back to give them space. Under different circumstances, it would have been hilarious but they were so devastated that laughing was an impossible task. Laverne began kissing Carmine's face repeatedly and not reciprocating those kisses was absolute torture. He knew if he did, he would never be able to let her go.</p><p>Reluctantly, Carmine gently stopped her. He squeezed her hand one last time before forcing himself to get on the bus. Laverne's eyes never left him as he took his seat. Carmine stared at her from the window. If he could still see her quite clearly, Laverne on the other hand was unable to. She could only distinguish colors and shapes now. Laverne sobbed harder as she heard the sound of the engine being turned on. People were glancing her way but she didn't care.</p><p>Carmine and Laverne looked at each other for the longest time until the bus eventually started to leave. Laverne couldn't help but run after it although she knew deep in her heart that it was over. As the bus drove away from the depot, Carmine realized that the sound of her high heels clicking against the pavement would be the very last memory he'd have of the only woman he'd ever loved.</p>
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